Of Desperation and Swallowed Pride
by love.u.always.mom
Summary: Bucky's left arm is broken and his right wrist is sprained, meaning he has doctor's orders to rest said wrist for a couple of weeks. But what is a guy supposed to do when he gets hot and bothered and can't do anything about it? Ask his friend to help him out, of course. 1940's era, Pre-serum!Steve, period typical internalized homophobia. Steve/Bucky, M/M Slash. 18 and up only.


**Just another oneshot that came to me yesterday that I couldn't help but write, and it consented to be finished so here it is.**

 **Follow me on Twitter at loveualwaysmom.**

 **Rated 'M' for a reason, slash, graphic smut, my usual in other words.**

 **If you recognize it, it's not mine.**

 **Please let me know what you thought, reviews make my day!**

* * *

Steve hobbled tiredly in the door of the shoebox sized apartment he shared with Bucky, whole body hurting after a long day of hefting boxes around in the back room of the grocery store on the other side of Brooklyn.

"How was work?" Bucky grumped from the couch, switching from laying flat to a half sprawl to make room for him.

Steve kicked off his shoes and peeled off his shirt before flopping down next to Bucky. "Pays the bills," he returned.

Bucky grunted in response and closed the book resting on one thigh, letting it fall carelessly across his hips. He had broken his left arm and sprained his right wrist the week before out on the docks getting on the wrong end of a particularly heavy pallet about to flatten one of his coworkers. As a result he was getting extremely restless being cooped up in the house, and not cleared to go back to work until the following week. He had admitted that the first couple days had been nice, but after that he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Not to mention they desperately needed the money, and taking two weeks off was going to put a huge hole in their already tight budget.

Steve heaved a deep sigh and relaxed against the back of the couch, letting his head fall back against the cushions and brushing a hand across his chest to wipe away the sweat brought about by the sweltering July afternoon. Beside him Bucky grunted slightly and Steve opened one eye to peer curiously at him.

"Arm twinged," he muttered, not quite meeting Steve's eyes. There was something off about him, but Steve chalked it up to going crazy from being cooped up in the house.

"Need your pills?"

"Nah, it don't hurt that bad," Bucky returned. Steve sighed but didn't argue it, Bucky was damn near as stubborn as he was, and if he said he didn't need his pain pills there wasn't any way of convincing him to take them.

...

Bucky shifted his weight uncomfortably as Steve slipped into a light doze, trying not to let his eyes linger on Steve's bare torso, milky white skin and rose pink niples and failing spectacularly. Oogling was only going to make him harder, and with one arm broken and the other wrist sprained there wasn't shit he could do about it. Some guys might be able to lay in bed and rut against the sheets, but the stamina he had worked so long to achieve was going to bite him in the ass now. No amount of rutting against something was going to bring him off, not before he got a nasty case of fabric burn at any rate.

He groaned and flopped his head back against the couch, praying he could doze off for a while like Steve did so easily and ditch the boner, but unfortunately he was just too damn turned on. He was used to yanking off almost every day and now it had been a week and a half, and the doctor had been very clear that he wasn't to do anything that would upset his wrist, completing the lecture with a significant glance toward his crotch to ensure he got the point. So he had bitten the bullet and obeyed and now a week and a half later he had a raging hard on that was showing no signs of wilting any time soon.

...

Two hours later had seen Steve up and moving around the kitchen fixing dinner for the pair of them, occasionally turning to give Bucky a confused look when he shifted his hips and groaned at the feel of his pants rubbing against his over sensitized prick. He had been hard for over two hours and it was turning seriously painful, enough so that he was actually beginning to sweat and Steve had asked him more than once if he was okay. He waved him off though, said his arm was bugging him but that he didn't want his pills, not yet, because he wanted to preserve them for when he really couldn't take it. He had long since removed the book from his lap and had settled for crooking his knees up to hide the tent in his pants, hoping and praying Steve would make an exception to his rule about eating in the living room.

...

Another hour passed and Bucky was ready to cry from the pain in his dick, hot and hard and throbbing in his pants. He was sweating bullets and he knew that Steve was seriously worried for him, but he knew that Steve knew better than to bring him his pills before he asked for them. He gingerly shifted his weight and his pants rubbed just right over the head of his cock, drawing a whimper from his throat before he could swallow it down.

"Buck, are you sure you're alright? You haven't been like this since the day you broke it," he chided mildly, looking helpless and worried.

Bucky dropped his head back against the couch and swallowed every last shred of his pride, flushing a deep crimson at just the idea of asking what he was about to. But if there was anyone he ever would trust to ask such a thing, it was Steve.

"Steve," he said quietly, meeting wide blue eyes briefly before having to glance down. He couldn't look Steve in the eye when he said this, he just fucking couldn't.

"What is it Buck?"

"Stevie, could you do a fella a huge favor?" He wheedled quietly.

Steve's worry increased, it was evident in his expression, and Bucky couldn't blame him. Bucky never begged, for anything. "Name it, what's wrong?"

Bucky chuckled in spite of himself. "Don't make no promises until you've heard what I'm asking."

"Okay," Steve said quietly.

"It, uh, it isn't my arm that's hurting," he admitted softly. "I've had a good stiffie going for almost three and a half hours."

"Jesus Buck," Steve said quietly. "That's gotta hurt like all hell."

"It does," he said. "And uh..." He felt his cheeks turn even redder, which he hadn't thought was possible. "I spent a lot of time working up good stamina, and it's biting me in the ass now 'cause no amount of rutting against anything can bring me off."

Bucky chanced a glance up at Steve, who was giving him a confused look. "What'd you need me to do?" Bucky couldn't help the laugh that choked its way out of his throat, Steve was smart, sure, but he could be adorably dense sometimes.

"I, uh, I was wondering if you might, um..." He trailed off and swallowed hard, unable to look away from Steve even with as much as he wanted to. "I hate asking this of you Steve I really do, but um... Could you, uh..."

Steve's eyes had gotten rounder and his mouth was half open, clearly wondering if Bucky was going to ask what he thought he was going to. When Bucky finished his sentence, he was almost whispering.

"Stevie could you put your best friend out of his misery and jerk me off?"

...

Steve's mouth went dry as the words reverberated around his head, shocking him into silence that lasted a moment too long, enough so that Bucky dropped his eyes and blushed even darker in what was very clearly shame.

"Nevermind Steve, I shouldn't have asked, sorry I made you uncomfortable," he muttered.

"No no Buck that's not it, just caught me by surprise is all," he said hurriedly. "Yeah, I'll... Um, yeah I will Buck. Sure."

Bucky's whole body sagged in relief. "God Steve thank you so much. I owe you big for this I swear."

Steve ignored the flush in his neck and throat at the prospect of finally getting to do exactly what he had wanted to for years. He settled himself with his back against the arm of the couch with one leg against the back and his right foot on the floor.

"Lean back against me," Steve instructed him. Bucky shifted over to him quickly, sitting between Steve's spread thighs and shoving his pants and underwear down in one rapid movement. Steve swallowed heavily before pressing his chest flush against Bucky's back, placing his left hand on the other's waist and tentatively reaching around to wrap a small hand around Bucky's cock.

Bucky groaned sinfully the moment Steve's hand wrapped around him, making his own twitch in his pants. He did his best to ignore it as he tightened his fist and started pumping, not wasting his time on any light touches or teasing. Steve was rock hard himself in a matter of seconds, biting his lip to stifle the moan that wanted to escape as Bucky's cock throbbed in his hand.

He tightened his grip more and Bucky moaned loudly, dropping his head back onto Steve's shoulder and panting harshly.

"Fuck Stevie," he whispered. "God Steve just like that, please."

Steve's breathing became harsher as he continued, wishing he could stop to savor the sensation of soft, silky skin stretched over hard, throbbing flesh and stare at the beautifully red tip he could currently only glimpse over Bucky's shoulder. He was throbbing fiercely in his pants now and wondered briefly how he was going to hide it, but after a moment chose to worry about it later, preferring to savor every moment of what he was somehow lucky enough to do.

Bucky was moaning almost constantly now, breathy and higher pitched than Steve thought his friend could manage. His hips were jerking upward as much as they could in their awkward position, trying desperately to fuck into Steve's hand. His whole body tensed up suddenly as he sucked in a breath, and Steve increased the speed of his hand on Bucky's cock. A few moments later Bucky's orgasm hit, making his back arch as he cried out almost directly in Steve's ear. He continued to pump his hand through his friend's climax, letting his grip loose only when Bucky's muscles relaxed and he sagged heavily against Steve's body.

Steve adjusted his hips awkwardly in an attempt to hide his erection, but the movement only served to press it into Bucky's side. He felt Bucky freeze briefly on top of him and let his eyes fall closed with an embarrassed sigh, pulling his hips back to hide the evidence of his arousal.

"Now you've got a stiffie too, huh?" Bucky said lightly.

Steve shifted uncomfortably and his face burned with color. "Sorry," he muttered.

Bucky sat up quickly and turned to face him, dragging him to sit up straight before pushing him to recline against the back of the couch.

"Can't entirely blame you can I? And I owe you good for this one anyway Stevie, so close your eyes for me," Bucky instructed lightly.

"For what?"

"My turn to take care of you," he said. "I owe it to you."

"Buck if you can't jerk yourself off you sure as hell can't jerk me."

"I know that. Just close your eyes and let me take care of you, alright? I've had a couple of dames do this to me and let me tell you, it's something else."

"What are you gonna do?" Steve asked, bewildered.

"Don't you worry your oblivious little head about it, just close your eyes damnit."

Steve shrugged and closed his eyes. "Okay, I guess," he muttered uncertainly, tipping his head back against the couch. Bucky gingerly slid off the couch and knelt between Steve's legs, pushing his thighs apart to accommodate his broad shoulders.

Bucky grinned and reached for his pants, unzipping them and drawing them down his legs with a small amount of help from Steve. He wrapped his right hand gingerly around his cock, larger than he expected against Steve's small, slight frame. The other man's breath caught when he gave a couple light strokes, and he eyed the small, clear bead at the very tip greedily before touching it with the tip of his tongue.

Steve gasped as his hips jerked reflexively, eyes popping open just as Bucky wrapped his lips around the head and covered it with the flat of his tongue.

"Shit, Buck," Steve hissed.

He took more into his mouth and gave an experimental suck, flicking his tongue at the soft patch of skin under the head before sinking down until he gagged. Steve's hands had clenched on his thighs as he moaned softly, and Bucky could tell he was fighting to hold his hips still. After a little more exploring with his lips and tongue Bucky set himself to a rhythm of bobbing up and down and sucking, reaching up to place Steve's hand on the back of his head. His fingers quickly wound into Bucky's hair, guiding his head down and trying desperately not to push.

He kept his right hand wrapped around the base of the shaft to keep from being pushed down too far and choking himself, but took as much in as he could before moaning happily. Steve cried out sharply as the vibrations resonated up his throat, and Bucky chuckled around a mouthful of dick before humming deliberately. Steve keened loud and high at the sensation, unable to stop himself from bucking up into his mouth. Bucky moved faster and sucked harder, noting the increase in volume and frequency of Steve's moans and curses as well as the tensing of his thighs underneath him.

"Oh God Bucky I'm gonna come," Steve moaned, tugging at Bucky's hair to pull him off. Bucky stayed put though, he had dreamed about doing this for so long and there was no way he was missing the grand finale now.

"Did you hear me Buck?" Steve's whisper was harsh and strangled as he fought his orgasm, but Bucky simply hummed an affirmative around his pretty, slick red cock before sucking even harder. Steve climaxed with a shout, filling his mouth and throat with hot, bitter liquid that he hurriedly swallowed down even as Steve spilled more.

Bucky rode out Steve's orgasm with him, suckling him gently until he had nothing left and tugged his hair to pull him off. He sat back on his heels and wiped a hand across his face. Steve looked down at him through heavy lids with blown pupils and harsh breaths panting into his lungs. The sight made Bucky grin in satisfaction. With a groan he got up off the floor and pushed Steve back into his previous position so he could settle against the smaller man's chest once more. Steve grunted slightly but didn't complain, long used to Bucky's random moments of cuddly affection. He sighed contentedly and flopped his head down on Steve's shoulder, grabbing his wrist to plop one small, delicate hand on top of his head.

"God that was even better than I've always imagined it would be," Bucky breathed to himself.

Steve's hand paused in the act of threading lightly through Bucky's hair. "Huh?"

Bucky went still in his arms as he realized what he said, and neither of them moved or even breathed as the implications of the words clunked into place in his brain. Bucky turned his head, still resting on Steve's shoulder, so their eyes could meet.

"Okay fine, I'll fess up. I've wanted to feel your pretty little hand on my cock for a hell of a long time now and wanted to suck you off almost as long," he sighed. "But I wasn't lying to you I swear. I've got myself trained too well now to get off just rutting against the sheets or believe me, I'd have done it. Please believe me Steve, please," he begged. "I'll move out first thing if you want and I'll understand completely if you don't want anything to do with a queer but please believe I wasn't using you. Seeing you peel off your shirt like that's what got me hard but I promise I wasn't lying to you."

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "Yes, I'm absolutely disgusted by the very idea of it. That's why beating you off got me hard so damn quick."

"Wait, so you..." Bucky trailed off, unsure exactly what Steve was and wasn't saying.

"Buck you've got no idea how long I've wanted to do that to you," he whispered, blue eyes wide as he regarded the particularly heavy man still reclining against his thin, weak chest.

He blinked at Steve a few times before reaching up and tilting Steve's face toward his own, capturing those soft pink lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. Steve felt something in his chest clench and release, and he shifted his shoulders so as to reach Bucky's lips better with his own, cupping the other man's cheek gingerly with his palm.

After several long moments they slowly pulled away, and Bucky shuffled around until he could drag Steve to sit on his lap, wrapping his good right arm tightly around the smaller man. Steve sighed deeply and rested his head on Bucky's shoulder, placing a soft kiss to the skin at the base of his neck. Calloused fingers stroked his hair tenderly while soft lips pressed repeatedly against his head, and Steve made a small noise of contentment in the back of his throat.

"How were we both so oblivious for so long?" Bucky muttered eventually.

"I've no idea Buck," Steve sighed, "But we're not now."

Bucky turned his head to look down at Steve resting on his shoulder, smiling when their eyes met. "No, we're not."


End file.
